A month ago today I was in a hospital bed on all sorts of medicine and wondering what I had done. Not in a bad way, just in the way when something you have planned for and wanted for so long has finally happened.
This month has been quite a journey already, but every one assures me it will continue to get better.
The scale has been consistent, and it has taken me a little rearranging of my view point to understand the road I've been on.
Specifically, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I saw a number I haven't seen in a while (you will hear this from me a lot!)...I am no longer in the 300's...no longer in the 290's...I am 289 as of this morning! When I stepped on the scale I saw a 7 lb loss in 2 weeks. In my mind, it was okay, but I wasn't jumping for joy. When I got to work, I started doing the math. Since I started this journey, I have lost...44 pounds...forty-four....pounds. When was the last time I successfully lost and kept off 44 lbs? I couldn't tell you.
And to make it even sweeter...My start weight was 333, and my personal goal is to get to 160. (My doctor and I disagree on that number, but we'll revisit that point when we get to that bridge.) So to get from start to finish, I need to lose a total of 173 pounds. 44 is just over 25% of my excess weight! I am one quarter of the way to my goal! THAT has made me excited. That hard road I have struggled with for the past year, between the insurance hoops, the layoff, the new job, the pre-op clearances, the pre-op diet, the surgery and the subsequent month of healing....that road has been so worth it! I can keep doing this. I will keep doing this.
Other highlights of this past month: first successful social outing involving a restaurant, followed by my first successful lunch with my work team, wardrobe malfunction at Starbucks that I still hope no one ever saw, oh and my favorite today - the nurse at my ortho dr oohed and awed over me and told me all the changes she has seen in me since I was last there 2 months ago. When a nurse sees so many patients every day for 2 months between seeing me, being remembered is nice, much less her being excited to ask me about my surgery and how I was feeling, then telling me I am looking goooooooooood. :)
I still see changes more in pictures than in the mirror, but I think it takes a while for my mind to accept the reflection as reality. I will have some one take pics tomorrow to compare month by month. I may or may not post them on here. Jury is still out.
I am wearing the fall clothes I bought this summer on clearance. I am now wearing shirts that are the smallest size in the plus size world for this brand. I am in no way out of plus size clothes yet, but to be able to wear cute sweaters and long sleeve shirts is a nice change. I am excited to look for my next deal on clothes to get me through this winter! So many exciting things ahead of me. I am so excited!
But I could not have made it through this first month post op without the love and support of some pretty amazing people. My family, of course, and some of the best friends I could never have imagined. Let me tell you - I can text them any time, day or night, with the stupidest, most ridiculous fear, gripe or excitement, and they respond with calm, reassurance, or join in the excitement. I am sure they are glad more of these texts come in the day than in the night, but I am appreciative of the answers even late at night. So thank you Dad, Mom, Jon, Elise, Liz, Jessica, Erin, and all of my other friends that keep me going. And thank you to all my blog readers, whoever you are. The more the merrier, right?
Until next time.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
24 day update
Back by popular demand! I really do love knowing you guys are following this and sharing in my journey.
The past week has been very eventful in a good way. I won't lie - I had been so discouraged with how little it took to exhaust me. However, I started getting in more protein and moving a little more without overdoing it. I still try to take it easy and take a nap when it's needed.
This past week, I slowly worked my way back to full time AND driving myself to work again. Tuesday my sister picked me up from work after 5.5 hours (my first day back with a lunch break!) and took me to the mall where I got a smoothie with some protein (this could become an expensive addiction) and then we drove down to Atlantic Station. I dozed a little in the car ride. We walked around the Target at Atlantic Station and then walked around a small portion of the stores. I fell in love with West Elm - a store I previously did not know existed. It is my new favorite store!!! Then we headed over to the fabulous Fox theatre to put our names in the lottery for $25 Wicked tickets. (They do this 2 1/2 hours before every show!) Elise's name was drawn, and she was able to get 2 tickets for us - 2nd row!!!! After we got the tickets, we walked to dinner at Engine 11 - a former firehouse turned tavern with these amazing bleu cheese chips. Yes, I was bad and had a few. Too many. And I paid for it. Our salad came out (we were going to split it) and I couldn't eat a single bite because I was so uncomfortable I wanted to vomit. I really need to stop 3 bites before I think I'm done so I don't overdo it!
This may be TMI so if you don't like hearing about my body's reaction, just skip this paragraph. When I eat too much, I get hot flashes, I can't breathe as well, and I start to burp more than the normal post surgery bubbles. So I went to find the bathroom which apparently was up a whole flight of stairs, across the building and down a shady hallway. I splash water on my face before I realize there are no paper towels left in the dispenser!! Luckily some one before me had pulled out too many paper towels and there was a stack near the top of the trash. I am usually very OCD and wouldn't touch anything in the trash, but there was enough of a pile I could pick one in the middle. It was that or use toilet paper...ha!
Okay, so anyways, then Elise and I walked back to the theatre. Once inside we found the curtain where we'd enter when seating began, then went to explore the ladies lounge and restroom. The lounge was so cool, and I was still feeling a bit warm, so we hung out on a really cool couch while watching women try to figure out the roped path to the bathroom.
We went up to our seats just before the show and really enjoyed the whole evening! Because of my poor choice at dinner, I was starting to get shaky by the time the show ended, so we drove through Checkers (YUM!) and I don't think anything has ever tasted so good, even if I could only eat half the patty (no bun), 2 pickles and 2 french fries (who can resist Checkers fries????)
Tuesday night was the first time since surgery that I started to feel normal. I made it to work Wednesday morning and worked a little more than Tuesday. Thursday and Friday were both full days!
Each day seems to get better than the one before with a few exceptions. Friday I was a lot more tired, and protein that was okay Thursday was not okay Friday. Still learning what my sleeve will tolerate.
Also new this week, I am always cold (except when I eat too much)! In fact, as I am typing this, I am under my Snuggie with my faithful dog Charlie curled up on my lap.
Today my friend Liz came over and recolored my hair and redid my highlights. I think it looks super cute! I can also see in the pictures we took that I am losing weight, I see it most in my face. I don't see it in the mirror, but I see it in pictures. I am also having to wear smaller clothes, which isn't a bad deal. My jeans have almost fallen down today, and I think I may have had another wardrobe malfunction at Starbucks today. I hope I caught it before any one saw!
Here's the plan this week: Keep getting in protein, work on nutrition goals. Tomorrow night is my first Fusion gathering. Tuesday night is my first weight loss surgery support group meeting at the hospital - should be interesting, right? Friday is my one month surgiversary which means time to step on the scale. Updates to come shortly after that.
Feel free to comment on here or Facebook and let me know you're cheering me on. :) This is a marathon, and I need all the cheerleaders I can get!
The past week has been very eventful in a good way. I won't lie - I had been so discouraged with how little it took to exhaust me. However, I started getting in more protein and moving a little more without overdoing it. I still try to take it easy and take a nap when it's needed.
This past week, I slowly worked my way back to full time AND driving myself to work again. Tuesday my sister picked me up from work after 5.5 hours (my first day back with a lunch break!) and took me to the mall where I got a smoothie with some protein (this could become an expensive addiction) and then we drove down to Atlantic Station. I dozed a little in the car ride. We walked around the Target at Atlantic Station and then walked around a small portion of the stores. I fell in love with West Elm - a store I previously did not know existed. It is my new favorite store!!! Then we headed over to the fabulous Fox theatre to put our names in the lottery for $25 Wicked tickets. (They do this 2 1/2 hours before every show!) Elise's name was drawn, and she was able to get 2 tickets for us - 2nd row!!!! After we got the tickets, we walked to dinner at Engine 11 - a former firehouse turned tavern with these amazing bleu cheese chips. Yes, I was bad and had a few. Too many. And I paid for it. Our salad came out (we were going to split it) and I couldn't eat a single bite because I was so uncomfortable I wanted to vomit. I really need to stop 3 bites before I think I'm done so I don't overdo it!
This may be TMI so if you don't like hearing about my body's reaction, just skip this paragraph. When I eat too much, I get hot flashes, I can't breathe as well, and I start to burp more than the normal post surgery bubbles. So I went to find the bathroom which apparently was up a whole flight of stairs, across the building and down a shady hallway. I splash water on my face before I realize there are no paper towels left in the dispenser!! Luckily some one before me had pulled out too many paper towels and there was a stack near the top of the trash. I am usually very OCD and wouldn't touch anything in the trash, but there was enough of a pile I could pick one in the middle. It was that or use toilet paper...ha!
Okay, so anyways, then Elise and I walked back to the theatre. Once inside we found the curtain where we'd enter when seating began, then went to explore the ladies lounge and restroom. The lounge was so cool, and I was still feeling a bit warm, so we hung out on a really cool couch while watching women try to figure out the roped path to the bathroom.
We went up to our seats just before the show and really enjoyed the whole evening! Because of my poor choice at dinner, I was starting to get shaky by the time the show ended, so we drove through Checkers (YUM!) and I don't think anything has ever tasted so good, even if I could only eat half the patty (no bun), 2 pickles and 2 french fries (who can resist Checkers fries????)
Tuesday night was the first time since surgery that I started to feel normal. I made it to work Wednesday morning and worked a little more than Tuesday. Thursday and Friday were both full days!
Each day seems to get better than the one before with a few exceptions. Friday I was a lot more tired, and protein that was okay Thursday was not okay Friday. Still learning what my sleeve will tolerate.
Also new this week, I am always cold (except when I eat too much)! In fact, as I am typing this, I am under my Snuggie with my faithful dog Charlie curled up on my lap.
Today my friend Liz came over and recolored my hair and redid my highlights. I think it looks super cute! I can also see in the pictures we took that I am losing weight, I see it most in my face. I don't see it in the mirror, but I see it in pictures. I am also having to wear smaller clothes, which isn't a bad deal. My jeans have almost fallen down today, and I think I may have had another wardrobe malfunction at Starbucks today. I hope I caught it before any one saw!
Here's the plan this week: Keep getting in protein, work on nutrition goals. Tomorrow night is my first Fusion gathering. Tuesday night is my first weight loss surgery support group meeting at the hospital - should be interesting, right? Friday is my one month surgiversary which means time to step on the scale. Updates to come shortly after that.
Feel free to comment on here or Facebook and let me know you're cheering me on. :) This is a marathon, and I need all the cheerleaders I can get!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
2 weeks update - first postop
*deep breath* I feel like so much has happened and yet nothing has happened.
Sunday I had noticed my largest incision had opened up and was painful! I called my surgeon's office who paged the surgeon. He called me back before I had time to walk to the kitchen for some water! He was so nice, and he assured me as long as it wasn't oozing, swollen or red around the opening, I would be fine as long as I kept it dry. He was right. It has since scabbed over.
Today, I went to my first post op appointment with the nurse (surgeon was still in surgery). I wasn't nervous because I've been doing everything on my task list for a successful recovery. The nurse saw my incisions, and she says everything looks great. I stepped on the scale hoping for some great results...and was disappointed to only see 4 lbs gone. The nurse read my face immediately and reminded me that with 2 nights in the hospital I had easily gained 10 lbs of fluid, so really I had lost 14 lbs since coming home and that I should be happy. We went over my hospital stay, my recovery, my diet, what I'm able to eat, etc. She said I am right on target for where I am.
I guess I was just down because I thought I'd lost more than that! In fact, I was walking out of Wal-Mart last night and my pants almost dropped! Luckily I caught them in time - boy would that be embarrassing. ha.
I shared some of my frustration with my best friends, and of course they remind me this is a marathon, not a sprint, and that 2 weeks ago I was laying in a hospital bed after major surgery. The fact I'm up and able to do as much as I am is huge! And I should be celebrating - I was at my highest weight at 333...I am now 296. I am out of the 300's FOREVER. Those pounds are gone. FOREVER. This is not a yo yo diet where I will gain back everything I've lost and then some. Now here is where you can laugh with me - those in the weight loss world call this TWOterville. *insert train noise here* woo woo. Next stop: ONEderland (I know - months down the road, but Marta announces it's next stop as soon as you're on your way...right?)
On a side note, I tried Nectar proteins yesterday for the first time. I got a sample pack with 10 different flavors. This morning I had Cappuccino flavor - AMAZING. Maybe with more protein I will heal faster so my body lets go some of this weight a little faster?
I also got cleared to take Prilosec OTC for my heart burn, probiotics so I can eat dairy again, and the flu shot. :)
I am working little by little. I was hoping to be full time in some capacity, but I was able to work 5 hours in a row today! Came home and crashed for a 2 hour completely LIGHTS OUT nap. My mom came in and talked to me and usually I am able to at least half answer. She said I didn't even stir. Hoping to try another 5 hours tomorrow. Each day I am stronger, so we can only go up from here, right?
Thanks for staying on this journey with me - knowing I have people that care about me keeps pushing me forward!
Sunday I had noticed my largest incision had opened up and was painful! I called my surgeon's office who paged the surgeon. He called me back before I had time to walk to the kitchen for some water! He was so nice, and he assured me as long as it wasn't oozing, swollen or red around the opening, I would be fine as long as I kept it dry. He was right. It has since scabbed over.
Today, I went to my first post op appointment with the nurse (surgeon was still in surgery). I wasn't nervous because I've been doing everything on my task list for a successful recovery. The nurse saw my incisions, and she says everything looks great. I stepped on the scale hoping for some great results...and was disappointed to only see 4 lbs gone. The nurse read my face immediately and reminded me that with 2 nights in the hospital I had easily gained 10 lbs of fluid, so really I had lost 14 lbs since coming home and that I should be happy. We went over my hospital stay, my recovery, my diet, what I'm able to eat, etc. She said I am right on target for where I am.
I guess I was just down because I thought I'd lost more than that! In fact, I was walking out of Wal-Mart last night and my pants almost dropped! Luckily I caught them in time - boy would that be embarrassing. ha.
I shared some of my frustration with my best friends, and of course they remind me this is a marathon, not a sprint, and that 2 weeks ago I was laying in a hospital bed after major surgery. The fact I'm up and able to do as much as I am is huge! And I should be celebrating - I was at my highest weight at 333...I am now 296. I am out of the 300's FOREVER. Those pounds are gone. FOREVER. This is not a yo yo diet where I will gain back everything I've lost and then some. Now here is where you can laugh with me - those in the weight loss world call this TWOterville. *insert train noise here* woo woo. Next stop: ONEderland (I know - months down the road, but Marta announces it's next stop as soon as you're on your way...right?)
On a side note, I tried Nectar proteins yesterday for the first time. I got a sample pack with 10 different flavors. This morning I had Cappuccino flavor - AMAZING. Maybe with more protein I will heal faster so my body lets go some of this weight a little faster?
I also got cleared to take Prilosec OTC for my heart burn, probiotics so I can eat dairy again, and the flu shot. :)
I am working little by little. I was hoping to be full time in some capacity, but I was able to work 5 hours in a row today! Came home and crashed for a 2 hour completely LIGHTS OUT nap. My mom came in and talked to me and usually I am able to at least half answer. She said I didn't even stir. Hoping to try another 5 hours tomorrow. Each day I am stronger, so we can only go up from here, right?
Thanks for staying on this journey with me - knowing I have people that care about me keeps pushing me forward!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Day 10 reflection
Wow - has it only been 10 days since surgery???
I have had some highs and lows, and I am trying not to let the lows get me down too far. I thought by now I'd be excited to go back to work and driving myself where I needed to be. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
Today I ate the most calories since surgery - a whopping 523 calories!!! Unfortunately they were not the best decisions I could have made, and I paid for it with some severe heart burn and discomfort for over an hour. Lessons learned.
The previous days I've ranged from 180 - 320 calories, and based on that, I have not let myself get behind the wheel just yet. I also get weak after about 4 hours of being upright, so I am trying to get back into the swing of things slowly.
I was hoping I could work out a short term work from home schedule, but that doesn't seem to be an option any more. I will be coming into work for a few hours as I am able, with my poor dad working from Starbucks so he can get me quickly if I get weak so I don't deteriorate too fast.
I go back to the doctor on Wednesday, where I hope to find out if I am clear to take Lactaid, as I am suddenly lactose intolerant. I also need to find out if I can take an acid blocker and maybe calm my new tummy down.
On the plus side, my clothes are starting to fall off, so my mom and I had a short shopping spree. I am able to get my fluids in daily, and my vitamins, too! I can see a slight change in my face, and my mom is always pointing out little changes she sees.
I also posted on obesityhelp.com for people that have had the same surgery as me, to get some ideas of lactose free protein sources. Based on their recommendations, I ordered a few sample packets before I invest in a full size product. The forums on that site have been so helpful in checking my sanity and common issues that fellow surgery patients experience.
Here's hoping the next 10 days continue to get better, and that I learn my lesson in eating soon!!
I have had some highs and lows, and I am trying not to let the lows get me down too far. I thought by now I'd be excited to go back to work and driving myself where I needed to be. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
Today I ate the most calories since surgery - a whopping 523 calories!!! Unfortunately they were not the best decisions I could have made, and I paid for it with some severe heart burn and discomfort for over an hour. Lessons learned.
The previous days I've ranged from 180 - 320 calories, and based on that, I have not let myself get behind the wheel just yet. I also get weak after about 4 hours of being upright, so I am trying to get back into the swing of things slowly.
I was hoping I could work out a short term work from home schedule, but that doesn't seem to be an option any more. I will be coming into work for a few hours as I am able, with my poor dad working from Starbucks so he can get me quickly if I get weak so I don't deteriorate too fast.
I go back to the doctor on Wednesday, where I hope to find out if I am clear to take Lactaid, as I am suddenly lactose intolerant. I also need to find out if I can take an acid blocker and maybe calm my new tummy down.
On the plus side, my clothes are starting to fall off, so my mom and I had a short shopping spree. I am able to get my fluids in daily, and my vitamins, too! I can see a slight change in my face, and my mom is always pointing out little changes she sees.
I also posted on obesityhelp.com for people that have had the same surgery as me, to get some ideas of lactose free protein sources. Based on their recommendations, I ordered a few sample packets before I invest in a full size product. The forums on that site have been so helpful in checking my sanity and common issues that fellow surgery patients experience.
Here's hoping the next 10 days continue to get better, and that I learn my lesson in eating soon!!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Long time no post...no more!
It has been a long time since I have blogged specifically about my weight loss journey, but man there is a lot to share!
Through some twists and turns of life, I was able to get the laproscopic sleeve gastrectomy this past Wednesday. My surgery day was amazing, and my hospital care was incredible! I was super nauseous after surgery, though, and it took almost 24 hours to get the right combination to calm it down. Once the nausea stopped, the rest of the world looked bright.
I have some amazing family and friends that really took care of me and each other while I was out of commission. Liz came and met us at the hospital bright and early and sat with my dad and brother throughout the whole ordeal. All I remember is saying "see you on the flip side" to Liz as they wheeled me away and then asking her to pass me my glasses when I woke up in my room. I vaguely remember moaning in pain during recovery, but I don't remember feeling a ton of pain for very long.
My nurses took such great care of me. Both nights I had a nurse named Brian who was happy to stand and talk with me at 1:30 am when I couldn't sleep and he had to give me medicine. I also got out of my room a lot for strolls around the ward to try to get all the extra gas pain out of my shoulders and hurry up my release home.
Friday morning the surgeon came in, checked on my incisions, and cleared me to go home. The papers were all signed by the time my mom and brother came to pick me up. I got home in one piece and have been doing wonderful since!
I am on full liquids now which means I get to have strained cream based soups and 1% milk, etc. The hardest part is finding room in the fridge for all the soups I've opened. ha! I thought I'd be able to enjoy my greek yogurt/sf cheesecake pudding mixture to get in some extra protein, but I literally had a few bites and my stomach would take no more.
I also have toddler sippy cups and baby food bowls to help me eat/drink the right portions. I have to make 8 oz last an entire hour, and I can't drink for 30 minutes after I eat. This means in order for me to get my 64 oz of fluids in each day, I am literally drinking or eating most of the day.
The one thing that has helped me the most is this binder the doctor gave me - think really large ace bandage specifically made to go around your abdomen. I can make it as tight as I want to, and it helps take the pressure off my incisions. Speaking of incisions, it looks a little like Morse code. ha!
I'm sorry if this is all scatter brained, but my body is getting used to consuming around 300 calories a day now, and it may take a little while for me to be back to 100%.
I will head to the gym with my brother tomorrow to walk the track - I have to get 30 minutes of walking in each day, and while my brother will most likely walk nonstop for over an hour, I plan on walking 10 minutes, resting a few minutes, walking 10 minutes, resting a few minutes, walking 10 minutes then hanging out until he's ready to come home.
Weight loss tally: My highest weight as of my first visit to my dr over a year ago was 333 lbs. The day of my surgery (Aug 31), my weight was 300 lb. I will not be stepping on the scales again until my 2 week check up, but I am excited to follow the plan step by step and see where it takes me.
Thank you for sticking with me on this journey!
Through some twists and turns of life, I was able to get the laproscopic sleeve gastrectomy this past Wednesday. My surgery day was amazing, and my hospital care was incredible! I was super nauseous after surgery, though, and it took almost 24 hours to get the right combination to calm it down. Once the nausea stopped, the rest of the world looked bright.
I have some amazing family and friends that really took care of me and each other while I was out of commission. Liz came and met us at the hospital bright and early and sat with my dad and brother throughout the whole ordeal. All I remember is saying "see you on the flip side" to Liz as they wheeled me away and then asking her to pass me my glasses when I woke up in my room. I vaguely remember moaning in pain during recovery, but I don't remember feeling a ton of pain for very long.
My nurses took such great care of me. Both nights I had a nurse named Brian who was happy to stand and talk with me at 1:30 am when I couldn't sleep and he had to give me medicine. I also got out of my room a lot for strolls around the ward to try to get all the extra gas pain out of my shoulders and hurry up my release home.
Friday morning the surgeon came in, checked on my incisions, and cleared me to go home. The papers were all signed by the time my mom and brother came to pick me up. I got home in one piece and have been doing wonderful since!
I am on full liquids now which means I get to have strained cream based soups and 1% milk, etc. The hardest part is finding room in the fridge for all the soups I've opened. ha! I thought I'd be able to enjoy my greek yogurt/sf cheesecake pudding mixture to get in some extra protein, but I literally had a few bites and my stomach would take no more.
I also have toddler sippy cups and baby food bowls to help me eat/drink the right portions. I have to make 8 oz last an entire hour, and I can't drink for 30 minutes after I eat. This means in order for me to get my 64 oz of fluids in each day, I am literally drinking or eating most of the day.
The one thing that has helped me the most is this binder the doctor gave me - think really large ace bandage specifically made to go around your abdomen. I can make it as tight as I want to, and it helps take the pressure off my incisions. Speaking of incisions, it looks a little like Morse code. ha!
I'm sorry if this is all scatter brained, but my body is getting used to consuming around 300 calories a day now, and it may take a little while for me to be back to 100%.
I will head to the gym with my brother tomorrow to walk the track - I have to get 30 minutes of walking in each day, and while my brother will most likely walk nonstop for over an hour, I plan on walking 10 minutes, resting a few minutes, walking 10 minutes, resting a few minutes, walking 10 minutes then hanging out until he's ready to come home.
Weight loss tally: My highest weight as of my first visit to my dr over a year ago was 333 lbs. The day of my surgery (Aug 31), my weight was 300 lb. I will not be stepping on the scales again until my 2 week check up, but I am excited to follow the plan step by step and see where it takes me.
Thank you for sticking with me on this journey!
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