Irritability

The closer to reality this bariatric surgery gets, the more on edge I seem to be.

Even those I love the most seem to be able to push me past my limit really fast. I guess I just want those around me to be as casual as I try to be about this big life changing experience. But then when every one else is casual, I feel belittled.

What a crazy cycle of thoughts. I knew I had some insecurities about my weight, but I didn't think I hid them behind my weight...

Tomorrow is my scheduled seminar at Emory, and I'm nervous. Nervous for it to be real. Nervous for it not to be real. Nervous to lose the weight. Nervous to keep it around for a little longer.

Now to try to sleep...