Bummer

It's been just over a week since I went to the Emory Bariatric Surgery seminar. I didn't learn much about surgery I didn't know, but I did get to meet some one who went through the program a year ago and is a great success!

It was inspiring, and I was excited to start the process.

I emailed my insurance company because I was on conference calls all day. I was devestated when my insurance company emailed me to state that bariatric surgery is not covered under my policy, even when medically necessary.

Since then, I have just been down. I am still going to try to reach my doctor this week to get a letter of medical necessity and set up the first appointment with an Emory surgeon. Once I provide all the paperwork (letter from doctor, personal letter, history of weight loss attempts and weight gain after attempts have failed, etc) they will submit to my insurance company to see if they will cover the surgery.

I looked into financing the surgery on my own, but with a $15,000 loan over 5 years, I'd be paying about $450/month, for 5 years. If I paid it in 2 years it would be $800/month. There is just no way financially I can accomplish this unless I live with my parents another 2 years. The house is barely big enough for us over the past 8 months, I'm not sure another 2 years is feasible.

I know I need this for my health, but I'm not seeing how this will work out. The part that confuses me is that my insurance company told me my policy is called the Patriot policy. On a weight loss surgery support site, there is a list of patients and the insurance company that covered their insurance. More than one patient listed the same policy.

If insurance denies this, I will be devestated.

Am I crazy for thinking about changing jobs just for the insurance that will cover this potentially life saving surgery?

I just am not sure what I can do to make this happen. The other day I was so desperate I even looked at surgeries outside the US for half the price. Then reality set in and I remembered the 20/20 and Dateline stories of nightmare situations with patients that had complications.

I really hit bottom when we went to the ball park last night. I won tickets to a Braves game from work, and I took my sister, brother and dad with me. We're all large, but I have never felt as far away from being a part of the normal society as I did Friday night. We had Terrace level tickets, which are really great seats, but they were so tight. I felt like I had to suck in my hips to fit in the seats. All 4 of us in a row, we were overflowing into each other's seats over the arm rest. I was so embarrassed. I felt people starting at these 4 fat people trying to pretend they fit in, pun intended.

I didn't enjoy the game as much as I had hoped because my legs were falling asleep, there was no way to move or change positions. When people had to pass by us, I had to pull myself out of the seat and then stuff myself back into the seat when we sat down. When my dad suggested we leave early to grab some dinner, I was more than happy to leave early. By then my legs had cramped up, my side hurt, and my pride was crushed.

It just reinforced my need for this surgery. While I don't have major medical issues right now, I can't live a normal life. It hurts to try to attend the national past time, for goodness sake! My family history is full of weight-related issues, and I'm scared it's only a matter of time before I become another statistic.